


Love letters to Maka

by Cmay



Series: Love Letters [1]
Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 10:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20619683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cmay/pseuds/Cmay
Summary: Maka finds something she shouldn't have found while unpacking their new apartment. Will it make things better or worse when she feels nothing but resentment towards her partner as of late?





	Love letters to Maka

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovelies! This is 1 part of 3 - I have written a series of "love letter" stories about different leading ladies from three of my favorite anime and the OTPs I love. (Soul Eater, Ouran Highschool Host Club, and Inuyasha) You don't have to read all three, they are completely stand-alone, but they are based on the same concept. They are short and sweet and I'd love for you to read all three. Unlike my last crazy long story: Only a memory away, that legit got away from me, but I still love...I gave myself an 8,000-word limit as a challenge in response to it. I'm a new writer and I'd love feedback or comments! I will post the other two stories soon, and will update each to link the others. I hope you like it! ~ Cmay

Maka wiped her hair from her sweaty face in annoyance as she tore open another moving box that hadn't been labeled, "Damn it, Soul." She pulled out the crumpled up paper shoved carelessly into the top and started to toss it haphazardly to the floor of her and Soul's new apartment. Her face twisted up with ire. Her frustration with the whole move was directed completely toward the, once again, absent Death Scythe. The top of the box had a few random glasses and plates Maka had been looking for when she had been packing the kitchen in their old apartment. Dishes that Soul had sworn he had no idea where they had ended up. Said dishes laid unwrapped and completely shattered on top of what looked to be a bunch of books and magazines. All of which belonged to Soul.

Maka murmured a slew of obscenities and began picking up the larger pieces of glass, dropping them inside a crumpled piece of brown paper next to her foot, "Damn it, Soul!" She started to angrily pluck the books out from underneath the glass, letting the smaller bits fall back into the box with a jingling sound. She shoved her hand further in to grasp at a large leather-bound book at the bottom of the box and hissed when a sharp pain radiated through the tip of her finger, "Ow! Damn it, Soul!" She flung the book down to the floor and stuck her bleeding finger into her mouth. 

Huffing she stood up straight and stomped her foot, "Useless!" Maka's anger flared higher as the past month's moving ordeal replayed in her head. She had been the one to find boxes, tape, and packing paper. She had been the one to schedule and pay for the truck rental. She had been the one to transfer their utilities and make sure their last month's rent was fully paid nothing was owed or forgotten to be switched over to the new apartment. She had also helped Blair find a place to room with the two other girls she worked with at Chupacabra's for crying out loud. She had packed and cleaned most of the apartment all by herself and she didn't get one thank you or offer of help from her weapon the entire time.

She had begun asking Soul when he was going to start his packing when their move date was just two weeks away. He always said soon. Though two days before the move most of his belongings had still laid strewn about the old apartment. She had finally blown a fuse when he asked her to help pack his things for him as he made to leave their apartment to go hang out at Black Star's again. She had stormed about the livingroom, had thrown rolls of packing tape at him and screamed that he was useless over and over while giving him a piece of her mind. After her fit was finished, only then had he made any attempt at packing the rest of the apartment. Though, on the day of the move, he had disappeared halfway through. He said he had gotten a call from his brother and just had to leave for a few hours because of, ‘family stuff'. She stood gaping at him, disbelievingly, as he hopped on his motorcycle and drove away. Maka had stomped into their new apartment and spent a good fifteen minutes shrieking curses in his name from the center of the chaotic, box laden livingroom. She didn't stop shouting about her MIA partner until her throat became sore and dry with the effort her vocal cords had put out. 

With him gone, it left Maka to deal with moving the rest of the boxes inside alone, returning the moving truck alone, getting back to the new place via taxi alone, and now unpacking alone. A task she knew would be easier if Soul had marked any of the boxes he had packed. So far not one single box he had touched had any sort of indication of what was inside or where it should go. 

Maka kicked the half-empty box in front of her as the trickle of blood and stinging from her finger finally subsided. She didn't understand why he had become so lazy, so aloof, distracted, and just an overall jerk in the last six months or so. It had been about the time she had mentioned getting a better place for them to live that he started acting differently. She didn't know what had changed. She felt that their relationship was strained, teetering on damaged, but every time she tried to talk to him, he would brush her off or just leave the apartment to go to Black Star's. 

Maka took an extensive breath, her eyes were burning and she tried to hold back the angry hot tears that threatened to fall from her malachite eyes. How had everything become so wrong? They had been partners, best friends, for almost ten years. They were now graduated from the college-level program for weapons and meisters and working full time at the DWMA. They had made a good life for themselves, and they had done it together and all before they were twenty-one. They had been so close, but now as they drifted further away from each other, she wondered if she made the right decision signing another lease with him. Had he not wanted to stay roommates with her? Had he only moved because it wasn't convenient for him to find a place of his own at that time? She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She took another calming breath so she wouldn't begin to spiral inside the swirl of questions she couldn't answer currently flipping through her brain. She had no idea why he was the way he was and so she knew it made no sense in trying to solve the mystery that was now, Soul. 

Maka glimpsed down to the floor where she had thrown the leather-bound book when she was cut by the glass. It had been bulging at the seams as though other pages that did not belong inside were also stored there. Now, it laid wide open at her feet. A few loose pages had slipped out from their hiding places onto the floor. Maka frowned and plopped herself down to the carpet and stared at the open pages. On the faded yellow paper, scratched out in pretty forest green ink, was multiple sets of eyes. Upon closer inspection, she was startled to see that they all belonged to her. Maka frowned and used a trembling hand to run along the edge of the page. One set of eyes seemed to be smiling, another focused, one small set was crying and the latter had been almost fully drawn over with another smiling pair as if to hide the sad ones. Dozens of sets of her eyes, conveying all sorts of emotions, mostly happy, looked back at her from the center of the book. 

Maka clutched at the loose pages scattered on the floor, and as best she could, forced them back into the spaces they spilled from. She then closed the book to flip it around to the cover. Nothing marked the front, back, or spine. Maka lifted the large leather-clad cover and heard the glue give and crackle with the movement. She knew that sound. This book was worn and well used. The first page had a large scrawling S.E. written out in black sharpie and below that, in the dark green ink again, much tinier and neat cursive, ‘Love letters to Maka' Maka's eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. She looked up to the front door as if expecting Soul to saunter through it at any second. When he didn't, she turned her attention back to the book and ran her fingers across his neat inky letters, "Love letters? What is this all about?" 

She gently turned the page and on the next was a sketch of the front staircase of the DWMA. Below that, a small three-line passage in pencil that simply said, ‘I think I like my meister. She has pretty eyes. I hope she likes me.' The date at the bottom right corner of the page showed he wrote it during their first week of school when they had first met and she had asked him if he would be her partner. Maka's heart lurched in her chest. It was an uncomfortable feeling. She now realized she wasn't looking at some kind of joke, but into something private, something intimate that belonged to Soul, and that she wasn't supposed to see even though it was about her.

Maka's fingers began to quiver again as she gently turned another page. A small passage surrounded by tiny little stars that seemed to zoom around the page read, ‘Maka brushed my shoulder today. It tingled. No other girl does that to me. I want her shoulder to touch mine again to see if it happens again'. The next page, ‘Maka is fucking strong! She's amazing! I'm glad she is my partner. She makes me look cool. She's cool.' She found her temper slowly melting away as she continued to scan through the pages. This was the Soul she remembered, cherished, and missed. A quick flash of the past few months crept back into her thoughts igniting another spark of rage, and she thumbed deeper forward into the book. She read quickly and pushed back her poor mood as she did. She reached a loose page and plucked it from the crack of the pages. It was a white piece of notebook paper folded in half and when she opened it, she saw a crude pencil drawing of her profile. She was at the desk in study-hall, head resting on her hand as she frowned at the math book in front of her. The eraser from the pencil she held was pressed firmly against her forehead leaving an indentation in her pale skin. Soul had drawn her likeness so well in the scribbles. He had added lots of little chaotic and crazy looking math equations floating above her head. Math was her worst subject. They were drawn almost as though they were hovering above her scalp like tangible thoughts trying to claw at her skull. Maka folded it up, slipped it back into the book and thumbed through more of the pages.

She got further in and noticed how his handwriting, once messy, and short in thought, more scribbled down than anything, became more elegant and lengthy and neatly written as he filled the book. The same happened to his drawings. They too had become more streamlined and graceful. He must have been at this a long time. Maka also realized how the later passages and drawings were only in the pretty dark green ink from the cover page. No longer done in a random pencil or pen. She gasped and remembered the pen he almost had a fit over losing one day after one of Stein's more involved physical tests. He had been late to his next class going back to look for it. She had gotten him more for Christmas because of it. It made sense now, this pen, this ink, was significant and the light bulb went off in her head as she turned to the next drawing. It matched her eyes. Her breathing became more erratic. 

The next sketch she found was only of her face. Her eye was swollen and bruised, her lip bleeding and a large cut was marring her pale blonde eyebrow. She was depicted with eyes closed, exhausted, and a single glossy tear trailed down her cheek. Around her head, bitter words were scribbled, forced onto the page in red sharpie and almost illegible, ‘NOT OKAY. I PROTECT HER! I'M A FAILURE! NO! NEVER AGAIN! NOT HER! I'M WORTHLESS! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!' Maka took a deep breath. He had drawn her after one of their failed battles, sitting at their kitchen table trying to cope with the aftermath. A battle where she had been foolish and put them both in danger with her decisions as a meister. As a result, the Kishin got the drop on them and she wound up hurt. It wasn't Soul's fault, but he had obviously taken it that way.

As Maka resumed reading she realized just how much Soul did, well had cared about her. Love letters? He was acting as though he hated her now. She didn't understand so she kept turning the yellowed pages. Page after page revealed a timeline of their lives together unfurling beneath her fingers and Maka realized she had been holding her breath. She inhaled deeply and let it out harshly which made the page she had just finished observing flutter in its haste to escape her lungs so she could draw in the much-needed oxygen. This drawing was of her curled on the couch, her head in Soul's lap. The word ‘happy' looped through her hair over and over again like additional blonde strands. The perspective, drawn from above, only showed his left hand resting on top of her hair and her hand rested on his thigh in her sleep. She had never seen this book before so how had he managed to retrieve it from whatever hiding spot he had it in, draw her, and then return it to its safe place without waking her was beyond her reasoning. Maka shook her head, she was over-analyzing again. Something Soul had already written about, with amusement, in previous pages.

Maka's hand trembled harder as she was about to look at the entry dated for about six months before today. Her heart began to thump firmly against her chest. Did she want to continue? To know what he was thinking, why his feelings had changed? Would the pages tell her? She sat stock-still, her middle finger perched above the top corner of the page about to turn it. She inhaled and slid her finger gently under the corner to flip the page up and over. Dated for the day she asked him about moving to a new place, were six tiny green words lacking any sort of drawing, a sharp contrast from the longer entries, ‘I am in love with Maka.' The pounding in her chest couldn't be from her heart, it had stopped beating hadn't it? Maka wiped at a tear that threatened to drop onto the crisp yellow page, and she gawked at the words. It suddenly seemed as though he had written it in a foreign language. In love with her? Soul? If that were the case then why had he been acting the way he had? She was now determined to find an answer since he was after all the one who had confused her to no end and acted like anything other than a man in love. She couldn't leave it like that. Not with her feelings now popping into her thoughts to say a chipper hello at the revelation. 

She gasped, clenched her teeth to try and push her forbidden feelings about her weapon back down. She glanced nervously at the door again and then flipped over another page. This one was dated a few days after the last entry, ‘I can't tell her. I can't let her know. I can't betray her like that. I am her weapon. I protect her even from myself. I don't deserve her. She deserves so much more than someone who will never amount to anything. I'm just a weapon, powerless without a meister. She's so much stronger than I am. So much more than me.' 

Maka let out a small whimper and thumbed through the now much shorter entries that lacked any sort of sketches or drawings. The notes became more frantic more bitter. She thumbed through to the last entry and it was dated two days before their move, ‘I'm an asshole. I don't deserve her. I should leave, but I can't. I love her. I shouldn't but she is my everything. I've been horrible and dumb and all to try and make my feelings stop, but how can I? Her eyes are my windows to the world, her hands are my anchors. She gives me purpose. Her smile is my universe. My comfort. Why do I try and make her angry, upset and sad all the time? I'm weak and not worthy to be her weapon, friend, or partner. I’m no better than her father. Fuck up after fuck up. I'm so sorry, Maka. I'm an asshole, but I love you.'

Maka rested the book in her lap, head hung low and eyes shut tightly. Her palm pressed hotly against the paper and she began to sob. It all made sense to her now. Soul was in love with her and had an absolutely idiotic but completely Soul way of showing it. He always thought he knew what was best for her, and he was often wrong. It seemed like she was going to have to teach him that lesson again. 

He loved her. He wasn't supposed to act like a dumb teenager and avoid her! He was supposed to let her know how he felt, test the waters and take the leap of faith hoping she returned his feelings and then be elated when he found out she did. Maka sobbed harder. It felt like he didn't know her at all. Didn't he know she loved him too? She always had. Maka swallowed her sobs and slammed the book shut and screeched at the top of her lungs, "That stupid, moronic, idiot! Damn it, Soul! Arg! I hate you!" She hadn't heard the door to the apartment open. Being new, it didn't creak or squeal when used, unlike their previous dwelling. 

She heard Soul gasp and her eyes shot up to see her weapon, her roommate, her friend, the man she loved, for the smallest of moments, looking hurt and insecure. He then suddenly stood straight, his face quickly pulled itself into a scowl as he turned back towards the open door, "Well, if you hate me, then maybe keep my things packed. I'll find a place of my own." Maka was on her feet and grasping Soul by the arm before his foot even left the doorway, "Soul!" She yanked him back and slammed the door shut gripping him tightly in her arms as she stumbled with the force. 

Maka knew Soul couldn't help but instinctively place his arms around her, but then when he realized what he had done, he dropped them to hang limply at his sides. Maka's heart ached at the action. She pulled back from him, her nose pink, cheeks splotchy and tear-stained and said softly, "You absolute, infuriating, Baka." Soul grimaced, then frowned and stepped back further from her. Maka wiped at her eyes and waited, not sure what to say, but when he didn't speak either she sighed and walked to where the book laid face down on the floor having been dropped carelessly in her haste to keep him from leaving. She gently picked it up and sorted the loose pages once more. She held it out to him and his eyes widened, "Maka…" Maka shook her head, "Stop. Don't say anything. You've said enough…with this." 

Soul yanked the book from her outstretched palms and pulled it tightly to his chest, his white eyebrows reaching skyward, "You read it?" Maka blushed, "Um, yeah. Most of it. Sorry. I…" Soul growled and glared at her. He then sighed and bent down to rest the book on top of a nearby box. He straightened up, crossed his arms and cast her a look that sent an uneasy jolt up her spine. He looked beyond annoyed. Infuriated. Incensed. Maka gulped, now sure she had ruined any chance she had to make amends with him. She knew she had invaded his privacy but she just wanted to talk to him now that she knew his feelings. Her eyes began to prickle painfully and words failed her. Soul's face suddenly changed from fury to fear, to confusion, to embarrassment and finally to a pained, and uncertain expression, "You read it. So…so you know." It wasn't a question but Maka nodded anyway.

They stayed silent for what seemed like an obscene amount of time and Maka shuffled uncomfortably under his carmine gaze. Her insecure thoughts were ringing out loudly in her head but if she spoke now she was sure her foot would be there replacing her tongue and like a rabbit, Soul would scurry away and possibly be gone for good. So she stayed mute. She fidgeted with her hair, her fingernails, the hem of Soul's old tattered yellow piano man t-shirt she wore, and waited. Her emerald eyes filled with more tears the longer he stayed wordless and she cleared them away noiselessly as each dropped over her lower lashes. 

It was an eternity to Maka when Soul finally cleared his throat and softly whispered, "Maka…you know." Maka nodded and sniffled, "Yeah. I…I know." Soul shifted and stared into the new clean gray carpet under his feet, "Do you want me to go?" Maka shot her head up to look at his face instead of her blue and white tennis shoes, "Go? You want to leave…again?" Soul shook his head instantly, "No! But I will if you want me to." Maka sighed, "Soul, we need to talk. Actually talk. I think…I think not communicating has gotten us all knotted up and tangled and…we've both been…lost. I…I need my partner back. My friend. Best friend." 

Soul rubbed at his neck, an action that was much more like himself. He nodded but didn't look anymore relieved. Maka thought she still maybe had a toe or two hanging from her lips so she clenched her fists and continued, "Soul, I…I know what you feel for me. I wish you had said it to me so I could have told you…" He cut her off with a raised hand, "I know, you don't feel that way, you're my meister. That's all." Maka ground her teeth and dug her nails into her palms, "Damn it, Soul!" With as many times as she had said that phrase, especially in the last six months, she had the side thought to make him wear a t-shirt with the saying. Maybe she'd get it made for his birthday next month. She shook her head from her mental tangent and continued, "Soul, you make assumptions all the time about how I am feeling, about what's best for me without actually asking me or talking to me. I know you care, I know you want what's best and you always try to protect me. I love you for it. I truly love you for it, but I need you to be more of my partner and let me know your feelings too. If you don't…well, just look. Look where it's gotten us." 

Soul stood shell shocked at her words, that's the only way she could describe how he looked. She decided to be blunt with her obstinate red-eyed scythe. It was the only way to get through to him and she was still being too obtuse, "Soul, I love you too you, utter, infuriating idiot. Baka! I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why you've been so damn distant and awful these last few months!" Soul dared to grin at her. It looked like all the confusion had instantly vanished from his ruby eyes at her words as he flashed his sharp teeth at her, "Sorry, Maks." Maka punched his shoulder and he rubbed at it as she yelled, "Sorry?! That's all you have to say?! You have got to be…" Her high pitched tirade was cut off as he leaned in and cupped her cheek. He then placed his lips sweetly over hers and pulled away just as quickly as he had come. Maka froze and blinked dumbly at his quick actions then huffed feeling like that kiss was rather anticlimactic, "That's all you've got, Evans?" Soul threw his head back and laughed, "Maka, if I gave you all of the pent up emotion I have had over you for the better part of ten years, I'm not sure you would survive." 

Maka rolled her eyes, "Are you joking? We confess to each other and that's…ten years?" Soul laughed again and pulled her into a tight hug, "Yeah, pretty sure I fell for your scrawny ass the day I met you." Maka dug her knuckles into his ribs for the quip and he grimaced, "Hey, I just need a minute to process alright? It's not every day the girl you've been in love with forever says she loves you back. Especially after he's been a complete jackass." Maka growled, "Who's fault is that?" Soul kissed the top of her head, "Look, let me start making up for being a total ass first, I definitely owe you that." Maka nodded and crossed her arms, ‘Damn straight. How do you think you're going to do that?" Soul smiled and abruptly hefted a box into his arms, "You're going to go find your clothes and your books. I'm going to unpack the things we need for tonight, assemble your bed, then I'm going to go get dinner. After we eat I'll clean up and then…" Maka cut him off, "Whoa, you don't have to do all…" Soul shook his head, "Maka, I have a lot of time to make up for. I was an asshole. A big one. I left all this on you and I'm sorry. So, as I was saying…then, I want you to take a bath and curl up in your bed in your new room and I want to draw you later. If that’s okay?" 

Maka's breath hitched, "Draw…draw me?" Soul nodded, "Yep. I need a new entry. A good one. It's been too long. It's time to start a new chapter." Maka rubbed at her arm shyly, "Soul, but you've never, I mean…I never knew you did that…" Soul smiled a toothy grin and lifted the box higher into his arms, "You won't now either. You get so wrapped up in those books, you've never noticed. Another reason I love you by the way." Maka blushed and gaped as Soul shuffled away to carry an unmarked box into his room like he knew exactly what was inside. Her head was spinning. In two seconds, he had once again become the Soul she wanted, the Soul she needed, the Soul she depended on and cherished. Her eyes filled with fresh tears but a large grin spread across her mouth and she heard a shout from Soul's new room, "Oy! Bookworm, better get to finding your books!" Maka snorted, "No problem, Evans. I labeled my boxes!" She heard a small laugh behind her as she bent over about to lift the large box of her books to take to her room. She felt him push against her and pick it up from the floor, "Our boxes." He gave her a swift kiss and another giant toothy smile as he carried the heavy box to her room. Maka smiled and put her hand to her chest, blushing as she watched him walk away. All the irritation was gone, her past insecurities had vanished. All that was left was optimism, happiness, and love. Maka laughed, "Damn it, Soul."


End file.
